How to Help a Friend in Need

How to Help a Friend in Need

How to Help a Friend in Need

Have you got a friend going through personal struggles who you want to help?  Even when it comes to the people closest to us, knowing how to give help may not always be obvious.  Here’s some advice for giving the right support:

How to Help a Friend in Need

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Educate yourself

Understanding the problem may mean doing some research.  You don’t want to give them the wrong advice and support and end up making matters worse.  The root of the problem could be anything from grief, to an addiction, to work-related stress, to relationship problems.  Ask them for their input and do your own research online.  By educating yourself, you’ll be better prepared for helping them.  You can even research solutions to the problem together.

Know the boundaries

Knowing the boundaries can be tricky.  Some friends might not want help, but may need it – and while you don’t want to force your help on them, you may need to keep on at them before you get through to them.  In other cases, friends may be too reliant on you to the point that you feel like they’re taking advantage.  In these cases, you might need to distance yourself and try to encourage them to be more independent.

Learn to listen

Not all friends may be looking for advice.  Some people just need someone to talk to, a way to vent their problems.  Make sure you’re taking the time to listen to your friend instead of constantly giving your opinion.  Being too opinionated could stop them trusting you.

Lift some of the burden

If your friend is having to deal with a lot of responsibilities, consider small gestures that might be able to lift some of the burden.  This could include inviting over your friend for a meal so they don’t have to cook, babysitting children for them or helping with housework.  These small gestures will help build trust and make it easier to help them.

Seek outside help

Outside help could be required in many cases.  This might be anything from bereavement counselling to drug rehab, depending on the circumstances.  Try discussing the option of seeking outside support with your friend.  They might be reluctant to see a professional, so you may need to do some persuading.  There are lots of options out there to discuss such as group therapy sessions or individual counselling.

Be a healthy distraction

You might not want to make every meeting with your friend about the issue at hand.  Sometimes being a positive distraction can really make a difference.  This could include going on a day out with them and completely getting away from the issue.  They may then be able to overcome their problems while realising that there is still fun to be had.  

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*This is a collaborative post

“The Friendship Journey” ~ poem #WonderfulWorldofWriting

The Friendship Journey ~ a poem

friendship journey friends kids children parenting poem unite

Moving house with a child is no easy thing to do,

A new bedroom, new school and new friends too,

A time of stress, anxiety, a logistical nightmare,

Emotions are tender, how will they fare?

~

You get it all sorted, a school place is yours,

A settling in session, opening of new doors;

Metaphorically, literally, it’s a critical time,

Reassured by people, “she’ll be just fine…”

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It’s exciting, it’s scary for her and for us,

We try to hide our unease with a ‘positive’ fuss,

Goodbyes are said to old school friends, her mates,

A new chapter is coming, new friendships await…

~

Then new names come up in our daily chat,

“So and so said this, so and so said that,

Soon can they come after school and for tea?

They can play with my toys, they can colour with me.”

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Of course the answer is, “yes, yes and yes!”

As long as she’s happy I can cope with the mess!

It’s lovely to see, a relief beyond doubt,

To see our girl happy, see new friendships carved out.

~

What’s more, it’s so nice she doesn’t care one bit

If her friend’s from Eastern Europe or if they’re a Brit!

All she wants is to play, to share jokes, to have fun,

As far as she sees it, they’re like her, we’re all ‘one’…

~

By Carol Cameleon 2016

The story behind the poem: As our little girl is cementing new friendships after a house move and subsequent new school, it’s intriguing and refreshing that background really doesn’t matter, as long as she ‘clicks’ with them…

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3 Little Buttons
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Book review : Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

Book review Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty friendship bullying murder domestic violence discussion book novel fiction

I felt I could have written an essay on ‘Big Little Lies’ by Liane Moriarty
when I’d finished reading it.  An essay about the genius of the themes interwoven through it: bullying, Domestic Violence, friendship.   (I had been rooting for one of the heroines from around halfway through.)  That’s why I loved the discussion points at the end and I’ve never come across this before.  I even discussed them with my hubby who doesn’t really read and had no idea what I was raving on about!   But I felt the need to de-brief myself after this powerful novel.

Admittedly, it wasn’t until a good few chapters in that I felt the novel really took off and I did get a bit impatient with it, due to the focus on the cattiness of the school run: humourous and ironic as it was.  Once the main themes had been introduced though, it really took off and I was hooked, making this a book that was very difficult to put down!

It really was one of those books that left me feeling a bit dazed for the rest of the day while I fully digested it.  In a good way…

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So tell me, have you read any of Moriarty’s books?  Does this sound like your cup of tea (with biscuit?)

Share in the comments below the link badges!

This post contains affiliate links, so if you decide to buy this book through this blogpost, I earn a few pennies… thank you.

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MamaMummyMum

Friendship is free…

friendship happy chat together blog

These little creatures are all in a row,

There’s a new place in town where they all want to go!

It’s our little girl’s cafe, it’s groovy, it’s cool,

Where anything goes, and there’s only one rule…

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To laugh and have fun and sample the cake,

A place to bring family and new friends to make,

These creatures are different, not like you and me,

They still fit in though cos friendship is free!

~

By Carol Cameleon 2015

Just a little note – the link to Our Little Bear’s Cafe will take you to my ‘old’ parenting MummyBearsBlog  which has since merged with this VirtuallyAllSorts blog.  🙂

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Friendship ~ poem #WonderfulWorldofWriting

friendship #WonderfulWorldofWriting writing blog

Friendship

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Some friendships come,

Some friendships go,

It’s a part of life,

She’s coming to know.

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As she tries so hard to tell me,

As she tries so hard to say,

I make out that her friend was

Not at pre-school again today.

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I hold her close to my heart,

I give her a big, firm cuddle,

Stroke her hair, hold back my tears,

Our little bear’s in a muddle.

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She thinks her friend’s deserted her,

Not one friend but two,

My instinct tells me that

She thinks I will now too.

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I can offer her little reassurance as

Her sobs subside from exhaustion,

I see her tear-stained face

And in her eyes I see her heart broken.

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The circles of friendship are a wonderful thing,

The trust, joy, love, loyalty that they bring,

But our little bear is tired and confused

Her little heart has been trampled on and utterly bruised.

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By Carol Cameleon

Written when our little bear was at pre-school.  Now at school, her mind is a little more mature but the potential for confusion is certainly still there…

Shared for #WonderfulWorldofWriting

Prose for Thought